Fashionably late to the YLF ball?

I’m in a bind. I’ve been faffing about trying to decide what to wear for far too long and I’m late. Now my fairy godmother’s arrived and she’s the kind of bad witch they burned at the stake back in the day. She dresses Grace Jones, Bjork and Roisin Murphy. She thinks Tilda Swinton is a bit tame and Solange should get out of her comfort zone. She doesn’t exactly do Red Carpet.

I really wanted some Comme de Garçons but she nixed that, said it was daywear and gave me this Alexander McQueen corset instead. I put it on and no kidding, it was like being trussed up like a turkey. I couldn’t sit down. 

Then she pulled out this vintage Margiela cape made from human hair. No, it’ll freak people out I told her, this is YLF not some Japanese horror movie, and anyway what if it catches on the furniture?

Next she showed me something by an up and coming Korean designer but it wasn’t even a dress. I said it wasn’t that kind of party and if I wore that everyone would be too embarrassed to speak to me. 

Then she found this one dress from Iris van Herpen. It might work, but I think it looks like a poofy snowflake and I told her so. Fine, she said, then it’s perfect. That’s exactly what you are.

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Personal vintage: yay or nay?

I’ve been cautiously welcoming the return of the flare these last few seasons, but I’d like to exhaust my closet before buying anything new. I’m now thinking of resurrecting this pair, which have been languishing in a box for years. They date back to around about the turn of the millennium, when I bought them from a local atelier who were making them to order. I wore them a few times before they became a roaring success for the woman who made them and suddenly there were duplicates in different colour ways walking around my neighbourhood. I hated that but I still liked the pants, so I put them away.

Now, I have no problem wearing vintage in general, but the problem with digging out something form my past like this is that it comes with all kinds of baggage, and it can be hard to dissociate it from previous reference points. I don’t think I’ve ever kept hold of something for this long without returning to it and I’m not even sure why I still have them when just about everything else from that era is long gone. I’m also struggling to uncouple them in my head from the late ‘90s fashion culture that produced them.

But I like them dammit! Yes, I like these pants and I’m willing to give them another go. I’m looking to London's Goodhood for urban baggy inspiration, as well as the colourful, dressy palazzo styles that are around right now. 

Obviously, I need to know, what do you guys think. Are they fun and a bit Fenty, or obviously dated? More to the point though, is there any personal vintage lurking somewhere in your storage? I’m not sure if I should be delighted or ashamed that I want to wear these again…

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Dressing for my fantasy life

Ladies, Boho Trinity has brought along some friends and she’d like to introduce them…

Yukiko Kato spends her days running around pixellated Neo Tokyo collecting materiel, slaughtering mutants and eating first aid kits. Sometimes she thinks there must be more to life than this, but then she doesn’t know she’s a character in a computer game, poor thing.

Antoinette Wolfsbane runs the youth LGBTQ drop-in centre on Diagon Alley. A former Slytherin head of house, some doubt her suitability as mentor for vulnerable wizarding teens. Few, however, deny her bravery as a sleeper agent in the battle against He Who Shall Not Be Named. (She has no trouble naming him, but mention Bellatrix Lestrange and she’ll most likely hex you.)

Tatiana SmithKline Beecham owns the last independent record shop in Soho, through which she launders cash for the Russian mafiya. Refuses to believe the neighbourhood has shot its bolt and that Shoreditch is now the place to be. Once played Hugh Grant’s quirky flatmate in a Richard Curtis rom com nobody can remember. Voted Leave.

Ellen Roberta Doolittle is one of an unknown number of women to have held the title of Dread Pirate Roberts, a position she inherited from Inigo Montoya when he left to join the CIA. Her favourite pillaging destination is the Cornish coast, where she enjoys drinking scrumpy, looting tin mines and stalking Ross Poldark.

I think I just bought a magic coat. This is far too easy. kkards, what was that about workhorses?

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Styling the new acquisition

Since I began the year with the goal of being somewhat more mindful of my shopping, it’s probably fitting that I should end it vindicated with an outstanding example of my failure to follow through. Some things find an immediate place in the wardrobe, but the best ones can take you to the next level. The moment I put this on, it was all over bar the haggling. This is me at my very best and my very worst - as Agent Smith would say, that’s the sound of inevitability.

I am very much in love with this number. It is classic, distinctive and slightly exotic. It is gorgeous leather, beautifully made and a fabulous fit. It packs some serious attitude and has the potential to be a real heavy hitter. It’s by no means a departure for me and in some respects it’s a consolidation: I think the reason I fell for it so hard is that a clean A-line with a round neck and a bit of structure is just about the most flattering thing I could possibly wear.

However, fashion being what it is, these things don’t often turn up, so there’s not much like this in my wardrobe, and it’s far harder to style than I was expecting. There’s something about it that falls so far outside the contemporary fashion vernacular that it’s almost an anachronism. Where exactly does this style come from, or more to the point, when? To put it another way, this piece is not fashion-forward in any way shape or form. If anything, it’s fashion-sideways.

The trick, then, is to integrate it into my style in a way that feels contemporary while honouring its syncretic provenance. Taking a leaf out of Old Chic’s book, I decided it was best to be true to myself rather than trying make it look Fashionable, while avoiding a slippery slope into SF/Gothic pastiche.

It turns out this is harder than it looks, in which case Boho Trinity could be a massive false positive. A better descriptor is probably Fetish Anna Wintour, and if you’ve been paying attention you might just remember why this is painfully close to home. Zipped up, it has a formal severity which I like very much, and it really comes into its own layered over voluminous midi skirts. Luckily, I have quite a few of these and not enough ways to wear them, so this seems like a winning formula.

What do you guys think? Am I missing a trick here, or is this a good enough jumping off point? Shown here with this year’s default hat - I’m due a trip to the salon and my hair is a fright.

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