Emotional shopping and wardrobe content

Sorry for the forum hogging. I’m ill and with time on my hands this weekend and I’m enjoying catching up with you all.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the relationship between my shopping habits and how it relates to my personal style. This probably sounds like a no-brainer, but in the two years I’ve been a participant on this forum I’ve come to think that the relationship between the two is far more complex than I might have guessed.

In her book “I <3 your style” Amanda Brooks says something to the effect that behind every well-dressed woman there are some seriously smart shopping strategies. This observation rang very true to me, and I’ve been examining my own habits ever since.

Science has proven that shopping is addictive. This is not news and it’s a hazard that everyone who enjoys clothing will recognise. I’m no more immune than anyone else, and while I adore shopping as part of my lifelong passion for all things sartorial, I need to stay aware of its pitfalls.

Viva started a great thread about this a while back, and I posted a rundown of how I deal with it. There are two points here in particular that I think have influenced my shopping behaviour more than anything else, and they are a) raising the bar by dressing well every day, and b) stalking high ticket items. I was completely unsurprised that Viva and Lisap immediately picked up on these as useful tips because they work incredibly well.

This is only part of a bigger picture though.

I see my clothes as an extension of myself, a form of non-verbal communication with the outside world if you like. But I also have a strong emotional connection with what I wear and the retail transaction is part of that. Furthermore, and I know this sounds like whimsy, I like it when the things I use have a story of their own, and don’t feel like an anonymous industrial product. This is kind of absurd, because most clothing nowadays is exactly that, and there’s not much wrong with that. I just love it when it isn’t.

A lot of this comes from a lifetime of shopping vintage and making things for myself. But I realised the other day that so much of what I put on or otherwise keep about me are those kinds of things. More or less everything I reach for, those things that put me in that happy space, are exactly that. This is why I love unique pieces from tiny ateliers and why I can’t resist a bench made shoe for example. But it also leads me to hunt down shops where I can buy from people who share my enthusiasm, with some knowledge about the product they are selling. I’m fortunate to live in a city with a number of retailers like this, but they are few and far between.

The funny thing is that with regard to how I look, this is very much a chicken and egg situation. I used to think my shopping habits reflected my personal style, but now I’m starting to think it’s the other way around. Now I’m wondering how I’d look if I eliminated this emotional component and shopped differently.

What about you guys? How do your shopping habits influence your look? Would you do it any other way and how would you look if you did?

This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.

30 Comments

  • Janet replied 8 years ago

    If I were able to eliminate the emotional component of shopping, it would relegate getting dressed to a purely practical action of putting clothes on my body so I can go out in public without being naked. ;-) I would have a wardrobe of sensible, neutral clothes but not much more. And I certainly wouldn't be hanging out in a style forum. :-)

    My shopping habits are a bit of the "thrill of the hunt." I don't often shop from a list, but rather just to see what's out there and perhaps find something that surprises and delights me. I just need to be more honest with myself about whether an item truly delights me before I open my wallet, or before I cut the tags and wear it.

    I agree that it's a cyclical relationship between my shopping habits and my style -- my style influences the way I shop, and vice versa. Interesting to ponder this!

  • Sal replied 8 years ago

    Interesting, I am probably more similar to you Rio with my home shopping.  I have lots of handmade, or vintage, or hand-me-down items, or items purchased at small or random places.  I prefer not to buy at mass market shops and since I have a budget I rarely shop for my home.  I don't update anything until the older item breaks down or wears out majorly.  I do occasionally stalk high ticket items for my home (currently a new coffee machine).  As a result my home is a little eclectic, a little worn, and classy but timeless.

    I am also similar to Janet in that I don't tend to shop from a specific list, but I do have a general idea what I am looking for.  I am becoming more structured since YLF and do now have a much more cohesive wardrobe.  Prior to YLF I think my clothes were still good, but I had lots of orphans and some clear gaps in my wardrobe.

    I am not a particularly emotional clothes shopper in terms of my mood (if I am down I am more likely to purchase coffee and cake or maybe a lipstick or nail varnish), but I do wear clothes emotionally (I don't often plan my outfit until I am in the shower, I wait to see what I feel like wearing.  

    Interesting topic and get well soon Rio.

  • Traci replied 8 years ago

    I've been trying to sort this out lately.  For years I tended to buy things that I loved, or that sparked some sort of emotion in me.  I think for some people this works because they have a very consistent, cohesive set of things that make them happy.  

    For me it meant I was happy in the store, but very unhappy when trying to make my individual happy clothes into happy outfits.  I found a workaround to this for several years by just wearing dresses almost exclusively.  Since a dress is pretty much a whole outfit in one piece if the dress made me happy then I was set with an outfit that made me happy.

    This new place I'm trying to find is more about feeling happy with my wardrobe and with my outfit rather than just being happy in that moment when I acquire the item.  That definitely requires more thought and planning and consciousness.

  • Jaime replied 8 years ago

    If I weren't an emotional shopper, and get pleasure from the hunt, I would wear a uniform of jeans and a weather appropriate top every day with two or three pairs of comfortable shoes that I would interchange to keep my feet happy. Shopping in second hand stores of all sorts exercises my brain - finding needles in haystacks is a source of relaxation, mindfulness, and chance to experience flow for me. I can also enjoy picking out a few high street, fast fashion purchase in the same way. If I had an endless budget perhaps I could approach designer clothing the same way, but I suspect I would just find more expensive second hand stores. Or perhaps travel to other countries to check out their second hand market. 

    Does that even answer your question? I do enjoy wearing my key finds, but I enjoy finding them even more.

  • rachylou replied 8 years ago

    Oh, now this is interesting. I'm a very local and definite person. I don't think I've ever lived anywhere where I couldn't 'walk to the shops.' And then it will get to be they see me coming and just put the almond croissant in the bag or come out to say hello to Lilypup. I pretty much don't go out and make friends. I just stand there and become a fixture. Lol. Now I'm back in my hometown, which I'm thinking made me this way. My town has been very obstinate about national chains. VERY obstinate. It makes getting, for example, a pair of socks rather difficult. You have to go the sock shop. If you're not up to going across town, because driving is discouraged as well, you WILL be wearing either the cat socks or the mushroom socks. Olive and a lagenlook-derived duster have been added back to my wardrobe since moving in January. Because there are two clothing shops in my walking radius and this is how they roll. My hipsterness is giving way to crunchiness. Same outline, personal target style and silhouette, but *listing* due to habit/emotional nature and cultural geography...

  • rachylou replied 8 years ago

    Back because this has spurred these thoughts about style evolutionary pathways in a geographic area (haha, and what DO you think about the role of the humanities in the production of wealth? :) )

    We had hippies, then punks. Punk went post punk and grunge came. Grunge was followed by hipsters. BUT everybody else decided this was a major speciation event at this point and locked the town gates. Like zombies. My town has done a good job of subsuming hipsters who sneak in (or back in, like myself). However, the horde is growing... I think in 5 years I will be good to go with my grey plaid, grey skinnies, heeled oxfords, and a messy bun...it will no longer look stoopid...lololol....

  • replied 8 years ago

    What a fascinating topic.  I'll be back later today to study every word you wrote.  

  • approprio replied 8 years ago

    Gosh, so much to think about already. Thanks guys!

    Janet, I recognise the “thrill of the hunt” you’re talking about. Like you, I enjoy shopping just to see what’s there and I enjoy browsing without buying as I much as I would if I came home with a new score, because it’s a source of new ideas. I think I always have an unwritten list in mind and maybe that’s a specific item, or it might be a solution to a problem of matching. By and large, I try to stick to the list and not get diverted by things I don’t feel I need. If something I hadn’t thought of comes along, it has to be really good.

    How I make those choices is what’s really occupying me at the moment. My shopping follows an entrenched pattern which hasn’t really changed much over the years, and it’s resulted in a peculiar mix of avant-garde, retro vintage and stone cold classics. It’s not as if I don’t shop mass market, I just rarely take the same pleasure in the experience or the outcome, even though the clothes themselves could be every bit as nice, if not better.

    KG/Sally, I’d love to see your house! Weirdly, I’m not so discerning in furnishing my home. It’s pretty messy and I have way too much from Ikea because I’m usually looking to solve a specific problem and they have solutions. That said, the kitchen is well equipped, we have some lovely rugs and a small collection of art. I have a friend who cares very little for fashion but is passionate about interior design. Her home is immaculate and she lives in her pyjamas. We have a lot in common ;)

    Traci: “This new place I'm trying to find is more about feeling happy with my wardrobe and with my outfit rather than just being happy in that moment when I acquire the item. That definitely requires more thought and planning and consciousness.” This. Whatever your strategy, this is where YLF really helps. Do we put too much energy into shopping and not enough into a philosophy of getting dressed? 

    shevia: I know we share a passion for second hand shopping, so I was very interested in what you’d have to say here. I very much agree that it’s a cerebral pursuit. I think I’ve learned more about quality and design that way than I have shopping in conventional retailers. On the other hand, I know I’m far more prone to impulsive purchases in those environments, probably because it’s such a thrill when you find something really good. I like to think I’m getting better at that though.

    rachylou: you’ve raised so many ideas here I barely know where to start! Locality and availability are a factor. I shop online but I prefer B&M, which limits me to where I happen to be at the time. I like the sound of your home town but no doubt it imposes constraints. There are many in here who shop online for that very reason and that presents the opposing problem of too much choice. Then there’s the issue of dressing for your environment and community: when in doubt, skew classic. And I hear what you’re saying about evolutionary stagnation. Maybe that’s why I’m so interested in authenticity.

  • replied 8 years ago

    Thank you for this thought-provoking post! I really needed it, as I have a tendency to fall prey to the addiction of shopping. Like you, where I shop matters. I like to support small boutiques and try to buy made-in (USA, Canada, UK, Europe) labels. My problem comes from the conflict of wanting to support the small shop holder/designer but not needing any more stuff! I d'hôpital a friend who is satisfied just looking not buying, and is always saying "why did you buy that, you don't need it?" But I do wear these items, and how will independents stay alive in this retail climate if everyone is 'just looking'? I feel exactly the same as you (your comment to Shevia) about finding something good.

    After Angie's post today, I started thinking about fur. I'm glad Angie specified faux, and there's a lot more designers can do with faux. Technology advances also mean that faux can look so real if we want it to. But I've noticed that real fur is still very much present in clothing, and I am fearful that, as in the 80s, the trend back to fur will drive demand for real and all the cruelty that brings--especially in today's mass production market.

  • replied 8 years ago

    I can attest that shopping is addictive. I'm trying my best to just buy what I need this year. So far, I've stuck to my budget, but I need to account for the fact that at some point I'll want different silouettes or whatever. I'm happy with everything I have right now, but that will eventually change. It always does.

  • rachylou replied 8 years ago

    I am telling you, this subject is deeply fascinating. My hipster donuts... the business belongs to a woman practically from my same neighborhood. She located her original shop in Hipsterville, just past the town border, where I was living up until last year. She opened a second shop, back in the ol' hometown. I followed her donuts back. Lol: two returning hipsters. I tell you, she tried to decorate the second shop the same. I mean, same paint effects and marble and woodsey wood - same aesthetic - but somehow, it's not achieved the full out Hipster vibe. It's really tough to say why not. It's like the town bends you to its will. Same exact stuff, but not allowed to be quite as irrelevant and useless as the Hipster Manifesto requires. Perhaps the lack of proper effect is a product of city government. Like, you can't put raw yeast dough in the trash. Or maybe it's the neighboring businesses. I can imagine all these little things adding up to effect measurements, space and layout - everything having to be more serious and thoughtful and responsible.

  • replied 8 years ago

    Approprio-I have stopped shopping emotionally for many clothing items. Tops and pants don't really do it for me, so I've just stopped shopping for them and really, it is a RELIEF. Also, the fact that these basics are now consistently available at retail for a price I like makes things easy.
    I still love outerwear and shoes, and continue to shop emotionally for these items.

    I LOVE what your doing with your oversized garments. You wear them so well. I hope I can find a few more oversized things myself but I'm just not in the mood right now. I'm a classic dresser but I do like oversized when it is not too drapey.

  • viva replied 8 years ago

    Oh boy. I've been thinking about style and shopping lately. I think at one time I really enjoyed the hunt, but that has become less and less true for me as there is so little that I need and I am so aware of overpricing, that it's less fun. Also, i shop a lot online and frankly that's just not fun at all, really. And when things arrive they tend not to work (60%+) and returning is not enjoyable. Ugh. I sound like the proverbial wet blanket.

    Sorry.

  • LaPed replied 8 years ago

    Yeah, this totally resonates with me. I used to be an emotional shopper and dresser, in the sense that I loved thrift and vintage and did a lot of garment-modding. I used to have piles of stuff that I scored for pennies, would wear once or twice a year -- or once or twice, period -- and it was a lot of fun, that anything-goes approach to getting dressed. Then I started traveling a lot, had no real permanent address for quite a while, moved back and forth across North America a couple times, and had a baby. Through the course of all that, my clothes and my emotional attachment to them started to feel like a big old burden. So I jettisoned a lot, although I did it very slowly.

    Figuring how to dress during pregnancy and postpartum was a watershed moment for me. I'd never before shopped with the intention of getting rid of things after a few months. So I got to try a lot of ridiculous clothes I wouldn't have otherwise. No actual "maternity" clothes but a lot of tunics and leggings and capes and such in all kinds of wacky prints and fabrications. It was fun for a brief moment, and then I was so glad never to see those things again.

    Ever since, I've been building more or less from scratch, and I've found myself in this mode of analyzing pretty precisely what sort of clothes I actually "need" for my given (and constantly changing, it seems) life situation. I've mostly stopped being emotionally attached to clothes: I'm *disappointed* when something wears out prematurely, but no longer *sad* to let go of things that have run their course. 

    The downside is, if I'm not careful, I end up dressed almost identically to the people around me -- it's very hard not to fall prey to environmental norms once you eliminate the emotional/passionate element. Like, there are only so many silhouettes that are practical for a MOTG in a four-season climate trying to project a rural-hipster-intellectual persona (which we all are around here, apparently). And I feel kind of down whenever I go out and notice that I'm dressed so similarly to my peers (my tribe?). Somehow, by accident, I've got my Native Wear down too well. So, like, how do I modify puffy-vest-flannel-jeans-stompy-boots into something that's "me" and isn't ubiquitous? How to be practical without being boring -- that's my challenge, but finding the energy and inspiration is tough. And it used to be too easy! 

    Top it all off with the fact that my SO is a natural, effortless minimalist who just DOES. NOT. SHOP. For instance, he has ONE pair of non-work pants that he calls his "weekend pants". He loves them. I pointed out to him that he wears the same pants two days out of seven and he replied, "I like having one thing that I like." He can also eat the same kind of sandwich for lunch five days in a row. Different universe -- I would expire from boredom. But I definitely think his example, being so satisfied with simple stuff and fewer choices, keeps me in check.  

  • approprio replied 8 years ago

    Aliona: I know exactly what you mean, and it becomes even harder when you're buying from friends! When you want to continue updating it's not easy to find a healthy balance between staying power and wardrobe turnover. 

    BC: amen to that! I was thinking about this mainly because I've been clearing the decks for the new season. I purged some and benched others and it's still a large selection with plenty of variety. But there's always a voice in the back of my mind demanding change, urging me to get rid of it all and start again....

    rachylou: isn't it better to allow the concept to develop with the new location? Different staff, different clientele, hipsters going back to the source and keeping it real... now I want to come and eat your donuts and pet Lilipup. 

    smittie: that is a very kind compliment, thank you very much! I think shopping objectively for basics makes a lot of sense. It's pretty much what I do when I head for Uniqlo twice a year with a shopping list.

    Oh Viva! I feel your pain. That sucks in all kinds of ways. I've had about the same hit rate with online shopping, a few roaring successes but many more lingering failures. And it was very, very addictive so I stopped. 

    I'm still pondering this. Many thanks for your thoughtful feedback.

  • Sara L. replied 8 years ago

    I don't have much time for shopping so rarely make it to B&M stores except the thrift store when my sister is in town (she lives about 4 hours away).  I usually shop online and then I'm very focused because of the vast variety otherwise.  The only way to filter items down to a manageable number is to be very specific.  Which takes some of the fun out of shopping.  

    The thrift store on the other hand is all about fun.  I don't go there with anything specific in mind and just look for stuff that appeals to me.  I feel like I can experiment a bit more since I'm only spending a few dollars on an item and won't feel guilty if it doesn't work out.  

  • approprio replied 8 years ago

    La Pedestrienne, that is so long and fascinating and I need to think it over. I will probably come back, but it sounds like you've nailed Normcore. 

    SaraL: that's pretty much why I love thrift stores. But I also recognise what La Ped says - you can end up with a lot of dead wood!

  • Style Fan replied 8 years ago

    Emotional shopping is something I am too familiar with.  I also used the strategies you used Approprio.  I have always loved beautiful well made clothing (it runs in my family - my father would go to London to get suits made - no we were not in that league).  I would buy clothes to make myself feel better to put it bluntly.  Then through a process I realized somehow that buying beautiful well made clothes were an investment.
    Now I spend less and enjoy my clothes more.  I feel like I have little works of art in my closet.  My Sarah Pacini sweater brings me more joy than anything I could have bought at Zara.  There is something about the colour, the styling, the wool, etc. that sets it apart from anything I see in other stores.
    I still buy things at other stores that I need but I buy very little there.
    I have more to say about this but DH needs to upgrade my laptop.  Right in the middle of an important post! 

  • Sal replied 8 years ago

    Just chiming back in:

    Approprio -I would love you to come for coffee at my house!  It is not anything amazing but I love it.  I am very thoughtful about what I add to it - I have some pieces I would love to replace (cream sofa - what was I thinking with two dirty sons) but I do only add pieces intentionally.

    La Pedestrienne - I relate to what you say.  I always inwardly groan if I turn out to be in a group of people dressed all the same.  But it is hard to avoid.  Jeans are inevitable, comfy trainers or ankle boots make total sense for many lifestyles, puffer vests, jackets and merino tops do too.

    The way I slightly fight this is by having short hair, most women here have long hair or bobbed hair.  Mine has been long and bobbed as well but I love having it short.  Another option is quite different glasses or sunglasses.

    I have loved reading this thread and keep coming back to it!

  • LaPed replied 8 years ago

    Kiwigal -- yeah, hair is a big part of it for me too. I've done various "different" cuts over the years -- pixies, faux-hawks, shaved, undercut, asymmetrical bob, etc. Right now my hair is in its fully grown out messy-bob phase, and I haven't decided where to go next! I definitely feel a little too mundane with it at this length. 

  • Windchime replied 8 years ago

    I've enjoyed reading this post and everyone's responses. My response is quite literal...

    My wardrobe reflects my emotional engagement--or lack of it--in shopping, by what I have in abundance and where there are holes. I enjoy shopping for tops, sweaters, dresses, skirts, pants, and shoes, and all are well represented in my wardrobe. I receive little emotional reward shopping for socks, stockings, and underwear, and those are the categories where I might sometimes find myself understocked.

    Yesterday, for example, I wanted to wear a skirt outfit which required nude or very light stockings. I haven't worn or thought about stockings since mid May, and when I opened my drawer yesterday morning, I realized I didn't have any that would work with the outfit. So I substituted pants with trouser socks and added "buy stockings" to the to-do list.

  • tulle replied 8 years ago

    Oh my, where to begin?  I love this post, and everyone's stories.  Interesting how emotional content seems to be higher among the thrift & vintage shoppers (I am one.)  Maybe we actually pick up some vibration from earlier owners and fabricators (thinking of your Mr. Big pants!) that imbues these garments with special significance?  I once studied Paleography with a wonderful teacher and kindred spirit who had been the Keeper of the Archives at Canterbury Cathedral. He had some medieval parchment deeds he had bought for pennies as a child, and the magic of handling something written by hand 600 years ago--well, it's not so different from the magic of discovering a couture coat, hand-knit sweater, or eighteenth-century print in a second-hand shop. This man seemed to inhabit many centuries at once--I remember when, referring to Christopher Marlowe, he said, "His father's cottage was right behind  Woolworth's, you know."--and that gave his life an expansive richness that enchanted me. If I had to remove emotion, or history, appreciation of fine handwork, or even the magpie attraction to the odd pretty thing, from my shopping, I would probably just stop shopping. I do admire disciplined shoppers with well-chosen, workable wardrobes, but I think I need magic more.  Your wonderful old trousers, and the intricate topology of curved seams and slanted darts with which you have made them your own, just knock me out.  Approprio, have you ever thought about writing an article--or even a book--about your adventures with old clothes? I would love to read it!

  • rachylou replied 8 years ago

    'hipsters going back to the source and keeping it real'... yes, actually, you know I've had that thought float by in my head. It's 'more hipster than hipster' back in the cradle.

    LaPedestrienne - what you write is so poignant. I call a group of hipsters 'an embarrassment,' lol. It really doesn't have to be hipsters...but this style demonstrates the problem well. There can really only be one guy in a group wearing the little fedora...

  • Style Fan replied 8 years ago

    I have come back to add more to my post.  One of the ways I express my creativity is through my clothing, accessories and my house.  I don't really buy much for my house anymore.  We are actually trying to eliminate house things so that is not a vehicle for my creative expression.  I did spend a lot of time and energy planning the decorating of my various homes. 
    I have to separate the emotional shopping to make myself feel better from shopping for basic needs (what I consider needs) and shopping for artistic creative reasons.  I am trying to do less emotional shopping and more creative shopping.

  • replied 8 years ago

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  • Angie replied 8 years ago

    INTERESTING, Liz. I absolutely think that the relationship between our shopping habits and style preferences is a two-way thing. The one feeds off the other in a continuous circle. And that's what you're experiencing now (or have been for while). When our style preferences evolve- so do our shopping habits, although it may take a while for the two to align. 

    As for the emotion, I am CONSTANTLY encouraging friends, clients and forum members to listen to their emotions. After all, Style is EMOTIONAL TERRAIN. Accurately listing to your emotions and organizing them into helpful strategies is ultimately what makes or breaks the way you feel about your outfits. That's why I discourage the over analysis and the numbers game because people get soooo caught up with their "spread sheet fun", cost per wears, counting, and analyzing "why" on paper - that they forget what is most important. And that's the visual outfit, and looking deep inside ourselves to reflect how we feel. The more in tune and at peace you are with your emotions, the more you will accurately assess your needs and love your style. 

    Personally, I am a VERY emotional person. I feel deeply about most things, and wear my heart on my sleeve (had to throw in that pun). But I am also a very disciplined person. So I've found that organized emotional shopping is key to a successful style that makes me happy:

    http://youlookfab.com/2015/01/.....-shopping/

  • Style Fan replied 8 years ago

    I like what Angie said.  I am moving towards being in love with my clothes.  Only you guys would understand what I mean.  But I have been in a different place. 

  • BrieN replied 8 years ago

    I love the emotional aspect of shopping.  It's one of life's pleasures.  I try to have at least one thing I love be part of each outfit--both because it gives the outfit some life in my mind but also because it is like a whisper to myself that my wants and preferences matter and also that my I want to show some of my inner world on the outside. 

  • approprio replied 8 years ago

    Yikes! Got distracted by a maximal challenge and a big pair of man pants. That's my affliction in action right there.

    Thank you all so much for such a thoughtful and provocative discussion. There's so much here that I want to pick it apart in detail, but I'd be up all night. 

    Style Fan: I think we have very similar experiences and philosophies about this, which is why your style always resonates for me even though we dress very differently. That's an interesting distinction between creative and emotional shopping.

    KG/Sally: good point about hair. It's very easy to underestimate its importance in the emotional equation. 

    Windchime; it's had to get excited about shopping for certain things, but it's got to be done. I like what you're saying about the positive emotional connections with particular items though. That must be why I have so few jeans and handbags and loads of shoes and jackets.

    tulle: that is wise and poetic and insightful and I love the idea that Christopher Marlowe was born behind Woolworth's. I very much agree that we can't afford to loose sight of that magic. Clothing is as important as food and shelter, so fashion at its best should be as rich as architectural design and haut cuisine. And yes, I have thought of writing at least three books on this topic. I even started writing one of them, would you believe. I expect I will to get back to it, or something very like it, at some point.

    rachylou: hehe "embarrassment of hipsters" :D I am so using that from now on! But who are the hipsters? I have a theory that it's all a marketing construct and they don't really exist.

    lisap: welcome back! I get fixated on this too so I perfectly understand that need to detach from time to time. But please don't deny yourself the pleasure of intelligent conversation. This is where it's at and you're missed. ;) 

    Anyway, I'm intrigued by your comment about shopping to fill an emotional need as opposed to shopping to fill a role. I don't think the two need to be separate. (And you give me far too much credit. I have quite a few things from H&M.)

    Angie
    , this is why I think your concept of "organised emotional shopping" is so very valuable. If I've taken anything from that, it's the ability to be organised about the emotional purchases, and emotionally invested in shopping out of necessity.

    BrieN: that's the nail on the head, the magic tulle mentioned, and more or less why I started the whole conversation. I guess I'm lamenting that it can feel like such a chore, or be so frustrating and disappointing at times.

    Thanks again all. You rock my world. 

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