Sleazy Country Uncle's Reprisal

Meet Simon.

Simon made a fortune promoting illegal raves in the 1990’s and used the proceeds to buy an organic dairy farm in Herefordshire from which he produces a range of dependable but entirely forgettable vegetarian cheeses. He has given up cocaine after an extended spell in the Priory but still enjoys his weed, which he scores from the Gangsta Librarians, a mobile book repository/craft brewery/dubstep sound system, a member of whom is dating his teenage niece. Twice a month he takes his 1992 Saab 900 Turbo to Bristol where he drives slowly around Montpellier, leering at schoolgirls and enjoying random Grindr hookups. Later he hangs out with Banksy and Daddy G from Massive Attack, who secretly despise him for being a hippie.

I don’t think the belt is working. Simon would wear it because he’s clueless. But not me. I know better.

This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.


  • Lucy replied 5 years ago

    He might be a sleaze, but Simon is looking mighty FINE. 

  • UmmLila replied 5 years ago

    Laughing at the narrative. I was expecting a Barbour and docs.

  • merwoman replied 5 years ago

    ha, laughing, and now wiping tea off my keyboard. Note to self, finish consuming beverages  before reading approrio's narrations.
    I love it all - and I think the belt works...perhaps Simon is channeling his alter-ego?

  • Joy replied 5 years ago

    Fun! Just what I needed this morning. Simon could wear that coat over his birthday suit to Bristol, with the same shoes and scarf of course.

  • Sal replied 5 years ago

    I think Simon can wear a belt if we can trust him with one. He dresses sharp but he sounds very shallow.

  • Sara L. replied 5 years ago

    You are hilarious!  Great outfit though.  I love the purple blazer over the tee. 

  • catseye replied 5 years ago

    Great outfit for uncle Simon. 

    You are such a good writer. Loved all your Bowie writeups too. 

  • viva replied 5 years ago

    Love the story. Simon is all too real in my mind.

  • approprio replied 5 years ago

    Joy,  I don't want to think too hard about what Simon is getting up to in Bristol or anywhere else for that matter. viva, you're right, he's real and I may have met him once or twice.

    I've created a monster. Do not, under any circumstances, consider dating Simon. 

  • Maneera replied 5 years ago

    OMG....I think I am falling hard for Simon. He looks so sharp and so hip at the same time. He may be a sleazy old man but he sounds so interesting. I bet Simon has a bag full of awesome stories to tell!

  • dashielle (Ann) replied 5 years ago

    BEST. POST. EVER. and you nailed it this time with the outfit! Kinda reminds me of Tommy's uncle Ernie from the movie...which I saw wayyyy to young.

  • Xtabay replied 5 years ago

    I'd love to have tea with him to get some style tips. 

  • approprio replied 5 years ago

    Ladies, I'm sure he's a charming dinner guest, but please keep a close eye on him and don't let him near your drink.

     there was a rumour that he's Keith Moon's illegitimate son although nobody's been able to confirm this. 

  • Angie replied 5 years ago

    Hello, Simon. Sounds like you'd feel right at home in Seattle. Weed without the Sleaze - so a step up from your daily environment. A detox of sorts. And I'm available for tea, cake and style tips. Liz - join us! 

    LOVE you in that blazer. It's SUCH a fun juxtaposition with the rest. 

  • catgirl replied 5 years ago

    Love this so much - I think I had a post long ago about how I like my outfits to feel like they have a story.  Well, your outfit certainly does and it looks amazing to boot.  Hooray SCU!

  • skylurker replied 5 years ago

    I open your threads with delight, words and pics are such treats.

    Did Simon cut out his coat's lapels in a delirious state ???
    Anyway, great juxtaposition of 90s tie and dye and classic blazer, I like the proportions with the wide leg jeans too. And still love the creepers.

  • replied 5 years ago

    Hehe! Well hello Simon! Looking fine and dandy. Love the tee and the belt is definitely something Simon might put on even if his alter ego might protest :)

    As a little aside...not sure whether you ever saw a  UK series in the '80s called Connie(Stephanie Beacham) I just got the DVD's for nostalgia sake....oh, my the 80s fashions....sooo fab in a kind of cringey way :)Some pieces that would look good today styled in a current way actually too.

  • rachylou replied 5 years ago

    Omg! I got in Simon's car on prom night!

    Simon definitely wears that belt ;)

  • Sheila replied 5 years ago

    You are very cool. Any chance you're related to J. Peterman?

  • Ooh is that silk replied 5 years ago

    Apparently isn't a thing - it should be.

    I love the look, especially the inkblot shirt.

  • shevia replied 5 years ago

    Ugh I thought I finally saw the last of that rascal! Wonderful everything, thank you!

  • Aida replied 5 years ago


    Fun look, and I do like it better sans belt. Although oddly I don't mind it as much with the jacket on.

    (This does feel different than glam uni professor!)

  • Style Fan replied 5 years ago

    Tell Simon to keep his belt on!!!!
    I have met many Simons in my day.  I stay away now.

    Great outfit.

  • approprio replied 5 years ago

    Cheers ladies! Who knew Simon would be so popular. I'm with Style Fan though. Simon is best avoided. 

    Angie, I like me in this blazer too. My blazers haven't been out and about enough this year and I'm trying to fix that. Simon says thanks for the invite. I bet he'd love Seattle. 

    skylurker: the coat is Margiela pour H&M and has lapels that tuck inside the raw edge. It belongs to Mr Edge, who was less than thrilled to discover that Kanye West has one just like it. Simon was delighted though. He likes shallow celebrity culture. 

    Diane G: That show looks like fun. Stephanie Beecham is great. I'm gonna hunt that down. 

  • Janet replied 5 years ago

    Hahaha! Brilliant. I love it. Simon can stay.

  • replied 5 years ago

    Très belle tenue beau manteau

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